My clippers are dead bc there's some kind of dried up battery juice keeping the batteries from giving em juice,....and i fergot to pick some up over the weekend. Now my crotch is gonna continue to look like Phineas T. Freakears from the ol comic book Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers!!! (Which I have believed were fashioned after phalluses since i was a kid reading their comic books). Phineas is the one with dark hair and coincidentally not only looks like my crotch but shares other characteristics with it too. Little known fact: My phallus is also an idealist committed to social change and environmental issues....... and loves blow.
Phineas T. Freakears is the intellectual and idealist of the group; he can and has created new drugs, takes an avid interest in politics, and is the most committed of the three to social change and environmental issues. He hails from Texas, and while his mother is relaxed and open-minded, his father is a card-carrying member of the John Birch Society. He is the hairiest, tall and skinny with a thick bush of black hair, a beard, a nose that bears more than a passing resemblance to a marijuana joint, and glasses. He is the stereotypical left-wing radical, bearing a superficial resemblance to Abbie Hoffman or Jerry Rubin.
I'm a painter. I do lots of colors. Some of my stuff looks like kids art but has subtle and usually serious connotations. Take this one for example, it's colorful, it has a cute character with big eyes jump roping.
Having a limb blown off in war is a horrible thing. In fact, war is a horrible thing. I believe it's the poor fighting the poor. And we all know that the poor have it bad enough as it is. So i wanted to put some goodness out in the universe for the poor people that had their legs blown off in the vietnam war, and suggest that there might be a place out there, not unlike a heaven that their amputated legs might be in,....where it is happy and jump roping.
Before i get into my story, i wanna give you a little bit of background. Both my parents are what you would consider academia. I've been very lucky to grow up under their teachings. For instance, when i painted my first painting i was 8 years old. Do you wanna know what my dad said in response to this? "It's about time". I don't think i could have a better gene pool. It's nothing i did, it's really lucky. Growing up i was privy to things people could only dream about. Fer instance, since some of my dad and mom's friends were professors, when these professors would bring someone in for a lecture at their college, like Allen Ginsburg, the lecturer would often attend a small dinner party afterwards, usually where i would be attending. Yes, I met Allen Ginsburg.
It's not like i was high class, I was poor, but i was a child of the intelligentsia. Both my parents have degrees, more specifically, they both have their degrees in sociology. So i guess that makes me a PhD. It's innate in the gene pool, back off. So as a kid i would often read college books in psychology and sociology. I love the stuff. Anyways, in my late teens i started reading about Ivan Pavlov and his classical conditioning. This is what wikipedia sais about classical conditioning... Classical Conditioning (also Pavlovian or Respondent Conditioning) is a form of associative learning that was firstly demonstrated by Ivan Pavlov[1] . The typical procedure for inducing classical conditioning involves presentations of a neutral stimulus along with a stimulus of some significance. The neutral stimulus could be any event that does not result in an overt behavioral response from the organism under investigation. Pavlov referred to this as a Conditioned Stimulus (CS). Conversely, presentation of the significant stimulus necessarily evokes an innate, often reflexive, response. Pavlov called these the Unconditioned Stimulus (US) and Unconditioned Response (UR), respectively. If the CS and the US are repeatedly paired, eventually the two stimuli become associated and the organism begins to produce a behavioral response to the CS. Pavlov called this the Conditioned Response (CR). Popular forms of classical conditioning that are used to study neural structures and functions that underlie learning and memory include fear conditioning, eyeblink conditioning, and Classical Conditioning of Aplysia gill and siphon withdrawal reflex.
In English,.... Pavlov noticed that before he was about to feed his dogs, they would begin to salivate (the unconditioned response). So he began to ring a bell before he would feed them (conditioned stimulus). Naturally, after awhile, all he had to do to make the dogs salivate was ring the bell. And this is what classical conditioning is. We're all classically conditioned but i wanted to take it a step further. As most of you know, i love to fap it. But sometimes it's way too much work and it's sticky business! Not to mention that i don't like gettin busted with my dick in my hand. I don't care who you are! So how could i ever get around this? Classical conditioning. For the past couple of weeks, everytime i get randy, instead of fappin it, i go play Super Mario Bros. on my 8-16 bit system. Basically, it's associative learning. I'm hopin that if i keep doing this, that everytime i play Super Mario Bros. or hear the music, I'll get a woody! I want it to be a conditioned response. And it gets better! If i can condition myself to get hard while playing Super Mario Bros., then there might be a chance that i can condition myself to cum as a responsive stimulus to the game! Then i'll never ever get caught jacking off to fatchicks, midgets, amputees, clowns or with dirty socks and Mrs. Butterworth Syrup!!! That shit's emberrassing guys! Don't make fun of me. All i'll have to do to get off is play a video game and not only will it be sexy but it'll be fun trying to save the princess and defeat Bowzer! And that princess if sexy! Yew don't know what it's like!!!
Don't be jealous cuz you didn't think of it first! Don't be hatin, there's nothing wrong with me. AAMOF, I don't think there's anything more glorious than saving the princess and simultaneously gettin yer rocks off! Just think of all the time i'll save! Judge not muthafuckers.... Yer goin down Bowzer! (and hopefully not my cock).
----------------- Bulletin Message ----------------- From: Micah (72970357) To: (0) Date: Feb 13, 2009 2:25 PM Subject: Hey Evil Mattlock!!! (wtf)
I told ya ah was gonna do it! ~m
----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Eviler Mattlock (444323151) To: Micah (72970357) Date: 13 Feb 2009, 00:22 Subject: RE: The W.T.F. blanket
Do it!
----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Micah (72970357) To: Eviler Mattlock (444323151) Date: Feb 13, 2009 12:19 AM Subject: RE: The W.T.F. blanket
I'm gonna get one of those TOMORROW! You watch. I'm gonna take pictures for the lulz.
----------------- Bulletin Message ----------------- From: Eviler Mattlock (444323151) To: (0) Date: 13 Feb 2009, 00:10 Subject: The W.T.F. blanket
Yippee! I got a snuggie!
Fer sum reason this WTF blanket makes me look more pensive!
What are you, in third grade or sumthin?
Jeebus is my homeboy. Especially Jaybee Beebus.
But you know, at the end of the day, it's all about sexyness.
So for awhile there I was staying up late to induce a delirious, sleep deprived series of images. Many of you have already seen them but in case you haven't, here's the small series.
Here's the first one i did that i admit, isn't that original. I've been doing this kind of thing for a long time. And incidentally, i was so whacked in the head when i did it, that i didn't remember doing it the next day.
This one i took much joy in.
And finally, this exercise in parallel lines.
After I had sent a few of these images out as comments, a friend of mine emphasized how much he liked my V design before suggesting that it needed to be on a tshirt. Prox is someone i consider to be visionary with many of his conceptions so i took that suggestion seriously and started cleaning up the design to do just that. Here is the final draft. It' s not perfectly symmetrical but it's all by hand.
